Story
Discover Joseph Degabriele’s reflections on coming out, developed as part of the Europeana Digital Storytelling Festival Creative Online Residency.
by
Joseph Degabriele
In May-June 2023, eight participants took part in the first ever Online Creative Residency from Europeana’s Digital Storytelling Festival. They worked with mentors in animation, social media stories and new writing relating to LGBTQ+ culture and communities. Joseph Degabriele explored the concept of ‘coming out’. Read his story and find out more about Joe below.
Naked, but they clothed me…
By definition, ‘coming out is a process, an act of socially, psychologically and politically recognising and acknowledging a sexuality and/or gender identity of oneself and sharing it with others.’
However, in practice the words ‘coming out’ are more than that...
They contain depths of reflection, levels of experimentation, discovery of the body, until one realises, admits, accepts and finds comfort and peace into his or her true self.
A journey of unleashing and discovering freedom. Hopefully a journey not done in solitude!
How would you feel if you were restricted in a space that limits you from being you, that imposes you to hide who you are?
Similar to Stockholm Syndrome, and probably without realising it, the ‘space that limits you’ can be a comforting illusion of safety.
Can you live in a limiting illusion?
Just like when the sun blinds us when we walk out of the dark, walking away, coming out of that space of safety is an unknown overwhelming step, paved with fear and self-judgement. Do you have faith that those around you will embrace you no matter what? Will you embrace yourself?
Those tiny steps of walking out can be the steps that uncover…
the warm embrace of your mother who whispers 'you are my son, no matter what',
a tearful tap on the shoulder from your father who smiles and says 'I love you as you are',
a tight hug from your friend of 21 years who says 'I can see you are truly free now',
a squeeze on the hand from your friend who says 'I am so happy you found the courage',
a wink from your older brother who reassures you that 'everyone got to live his life',
countless kisses from your two sisters who simply 'have your back'.
These moments enriched with meaningful words weave a coming out, that after the eyes settle to the shining sun, show you the clarity, show you the support of the family, the reassuring friendships, the chats and discussions of people who want to understand and learn.
Happy tears trickling down the face, and a heart beating with love!
Should this be the experience of every queer member?
Why cannot we ensure the queer community to a safe and welcoming coming out?
The queer community has many hurdles, the bullying in the streets, denial by their families, religions preaching against them, politics denying their rights, traditions leaving them unacknowledged or cultures who do not give them a seat at the table. That is why freedom and the rights should never be taken for granted. That is why our voices need to be heard in support of those who are not feeling safe enough to come out!
If you are struggling to come out, if fear is getting the best of you, reach out to professionals who can guide you in this journey, but never lose hope, never get comfortable sitting in the closet, the world needs to see the full you!
About the author
Who am I?
I am Joseph, a 29-year-old teacher from Malta. My passions include community development, education and the arts. I love participating in projects that involve all three and through such projects continue to broaden my knowledge through the stories and experiences of others.
Why did I apply to the Digital Storytelling Online Creative Residency?
I applied for the residency as I always wanted an opportunity through which I could practise my writing. I believe through this experience I have understood more about my process of writing and also discovered tools which can help me to further develop my writing experience.
What have I got out of the residency?
I decided to focus my writing on the process of coming out, a process which can be daunting but a very positive one.
Where might I go from here?
Although I have not fully figured out a plan, I do hope that I will pursue writing different pieces, especially pieces that focus on the positive side of things, pieces that shed light on the good side of things.